Today I was invited to a jazz festival. Frank wanted to get tickets. Actually, I hear no jazz, but I thought a) I will need and expand my horizons, I want to stand out from the mass of the 35-year-old women who care only about their Ikea-single-device and doggedly for 3 years Sport , also make their character not to miss the connection, and b) better than hanging out alone at home on a Saturday evening.
However, an hour before the start of the concert sent me a text message and Ben asked if I would like to go with him and a few cool people and then to Vapiano in the X-Lounge a couple of cocktails . slurping Ben was not really my type - the shirt to a button too far, a bit browned and the dance style a bit ridiculous ... - but at least he knew many people. Crap, what should I do now? To make matters worse, Hannah was still with me into the cinema. I had to decide. Why did Ben over the weekend but also report more at the last minute? I stood on his list, perhaps too far back and came as Plan C or so?
And besides, I had already promised Frank. Frank is very nice, maybe a little too nice. He looks quite grown up, or establishing itself better, as if he knew what he wanted. Well, he's probably already 45 or so. Probably because more older people are anyway in jazz. Oh, I do not know. Frank will probably not mind me if I cancel it. Finally, still wanted to go with two of his buddies and my card, he can certainly sell even more. Actually, I do not like that so much of having to decide at the last minute. On the other hand, it is irgentwie also send more than one option to have.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to have only one way, I am often so indecisive. I can not and will not decide to date a man. I feel that the right thing is not yet there. I'm sure I know when it's the right thing. I just want to make any compromises. Have as yet made no mistake with 35 still have all options open. Moreover, it is primarily so for me. The single life has its advantages. I also have good sex from and to which I do not need a (permanent) partner.
The only thing that annoys me a bit, the thing is with child or children. I would like at least one child. And time is running so slow. But tell me why now "under pressure" as it were to choose a husband, so it can not be. What do I do if I meet someone else, which is the ground weghaut me when I see him for the first time, and immediately knows that he is the right thing? No, I remember when I was at that time with Robert and together with the Municipal skating Max met. I do not want to participate again. Why Robert wanted to let go and not simply accept that it was Max and I could not help it? Well, Robert would have really loved me, he would have allowed myself and Max did not behave accordingly. Forget it. In any case, I prefer to stay single until then.
Actually, I'm busy enough at the moment with me. A few days ago I let on SPON a very interesting article on "Mind Engineering. I was actually very logical approach. Yes we design our bodies, our appearance, with sport, with cosmetics, clothing, some even cosmetic surgery. Why not also the interior styling. I have a fairly clear idea of how I want to be: open minded, interested in culture, humor, keep entertaining but also with the ability of the flap at the right moment, environmentally aware, without being fanatical and successful without neglecting my family, a friend, a friend, a bitch, not an IT girl but not a dry bread roll, a modern woman very flexible with many facets and colors. Finally, I would like to leave my personal development to chance, to life. We are not Neanderthals more. However, the pajamas, chips, and B-movie evenings, I also get a grip.
Actually, life is beautiful, and I'm optimistic. het
